Once again, irony comes and bites a large chunk out of me.

The day I meet the deadline for a story about dating in Argentina is the day when I have been most subjected to the utter chaos that is dating in Argentina.

In reverse order, I tell a man that he shouldn’t pay any attention to the fact that Patricia is threatening to commit suicide.

Patricia is the woman he started sleeping with while he was “seeing” me for several weeks. We weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend as that much was made perfectly clear to me although the attention, messages, care and kindness showered on me for much of the time may have indicated otherwise.

He told me he fell in love with her last weekend, while I was in Mendoza, and told me over the phone about two hours ago. He was meant to come to my house and tell me – a “date” that has been playing on my mind since Sunday night when he told me he wanted to “chat” because he had a “general confusion about life”. And I guessed the rest…

But I found out they were “in love”, declared love to each other and had spent all that weekend sleeping together after he went round to fix her computer. And this weekend too. But only because she decided to send me an email via Facebook and inform me of this new situation about two and a half hours ago.

She is threatening to kill herself because she has been “lied to and betrayed”. If this web of deceit has any timeframe, you’ll find I was with him first and it is me who has been lied to and betrayed.

The reason I am writing about this is to sort my own broken head out. And realise that one piece of advice I inadvertently gave in the dating story – a titanium-encased heart – really needs to start applying to me.

As my mate Rich said, I might start paying for my happy endings.